


Regret

by Ashtonthefabulous



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Birthright Route, Gen, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, also of course, but not with a happy ending, man this is angsty, no judgement please, of course, oof, that's how it be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 10:26:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashtonthefabulous/pseuds/Ashtonthefabulous
Summary: Laslow dies in Birthright





	Regret

—

Only later, after Garon had been defeated and the castle taken, did Saizo realise. Hours after the final battle, wounds were still being healed and decisions being made. The Hoshidan royals banded together in front of the Nohrian throne and talked. There had been celebration, of course. When the final blow landed and the monster of a king fell, there was only relief. But, now that the excitement has settled, new battles come on the horizon.

 

But, as the royals collected themselves, Saizo found himself retracing his steps into the throne room. Bodies of Nohrian soldiers lie bloodied and broken over the carpets, pieces of weapons and armour scattered amongst them. Saizo had been tracking down each of his shuriken and daggers thrown in the battle. He pulls one free from a fallen cavalier, the man half crushed under his horse. 

 

As Saizo straightens up, blood dripping from the blade, he spots another fallen figure nearby. A man, dressed in the Nohrian swordsman uniform that he’s seen so many times before. A sword lies by his side, blood glistening on the blade. Saizo can’t help but feel angered at the sight - Hoshidan blood felled by the enemy. But, he calms himself. The war has been won and whatever blows were dealt can now be healed. 

 

Saizo still approaches the man. He doesn’t remember seeing him in the battle, deciding that he was probably just lost in the crowd, but goes to check if a shuriken flew his way. 

Pushing the man over, Saizo looks to the bloodied parts of his clothes, spotting a particularly nasty cut through his side. And there, embedded deep in the skin, is one of Kagero’s daggers. Knowing that she’d want it back eventually, Saizo reaches down and tugs it free. Blood gushes out for a second, filling out more of the puddle under the man.

 

Getting up once again, Saizo barely spares the man another look. His grey hair is the same shade as his armour and his sword, all now stained in reds. His head is facing to the side, hiding his face from Saizo’s view. It’s not like the ninja cares, though. 

 

But, in the quiet but too densely filled room, Saizo looks around for the body he _would_ care about. And he sees it. Prince Xander, once heir to the Nohrian throne and the kingdom’s most feared warrior, sits up against a dark wall as if only resting. Siegfried, the divine blade, lies upon the ground in front of him, feet away from where Princess Elise was laid to rest. Blood stains the pair of siblings, but they could otherwise just be asleep. 

 

Saizo hardly notes how the man at his feet stares off at the Nohrian prince, one hand frozen as it reached out to him. Instead, he walks away, spotting a glimmer of silver buried in a lancers chest. And, despite it all, he never looks back.

 

—

 

When the battle ended, Ryoma looked for his siblings. His heart raced in the moments of chaos but, as relived cheers start to fill the throne room, he calms at the sight of them. Takumi stumbles a little, but clearly out of fatigue and not injury. Sakura is at his side, eyes watering as she tightly grips his hand. And, also nearby, is Hinoka. Ryoma watches her dismount from her pegasus and head towards her two youngest siblings. She pulls them into a clumsy but heartfelt hug, her naginata falling to the ground at her side. Usually, Ryoma would chastise her for being so reckless with her weapons, but he decides that she’s more than earned it. 

 

Ryoma looks to Corrin, who falls to her knees as she faces the throne. They’ve all faced loss and hardship, but Corrin has more than anyone. Now that the war is won, they can take the time to celebrate, yes, but also to mourn.

 

In that moment of reverberating quiet, Ryoma looks at his retainers. They’ve both appeared, standing at his side. They hold each other’s hands tightly for just a moment. Kagero stares ahead and Saizo looks to Ryoma before turning away. Ryoma is so thankful to them, his two dedicated retainers. Through every moment, every battle and every fight, he could always rely on them as they could him. Without them, Ryoma doesn't know what he would have done.

 

As the pair move away from Ryoma, he thinks, somehow, of Prince Xander. He thinks of the man considered his equal, his opposite, and wonders who the man was beyond that harsh exterior, or who he had been before the war. He thinks of how fondly Corrin spoke of him, how they spent so many years together only for it to so abruptly end. He has only a few clues to the man, but remains morbidly curious to the man that would have become king.

 

He thinks about Prince Xander’s retainers, only to realise that he knew nothing about them. He remembers a group of soldiers charging in, forcing them into combat as Corrin and the prince fought one-on-one. He remembers looking for the general, the leader, and seeing only a brightly coloured cavalier at the head of the fight. She screamed and cried out, fighting barbarically but effectively. For how she called Prince Xander’s name, she _must_ have been a retainer to him. But, who was the other? All the Nohrian royals Ryoma had encountered at two retainers of their own, so it seemed irregular that the crown prince would break that pattern. Perhaps, Ryoma thinks, the other was killed earlier in the war. Perhaps that helped fuel the Nohrian’s rage and despair. Perhaps, even, that retainer was killed by their own force, murdered in solitude and without recognition amongst the chaotic battlefields. War was brutal, and any life could be snatched away with no glory to its name. Ryoma had been it before, soldiers announcing missing rather than dead, whose bodies were never found but were always assumed dead in the worst ways. Alone.

Ryoma couldn’t bare the thought of it. He whispers a prayer, a call out to the heavens and to whatever gods would listen. He prays for each life lost for their victory, to Prince Xander and his retainers, to Princess Elise, to Nohrians and Hoshidans alike, he wishes only peace.

 

Ryoma walks towards Corrin with resolution and resolve. He will help restore the damage dealt, both in Nohr and Hoshido. He’s seen the pain and the despair, and now they have a chance to bring it all to as clean of an end as they can. Ryoma rests a hand on Corrin’s shoulder and the princess looks up at him with tearful eyes. Ryoma smiles and squeezes assuringly. They’ve won, and, for now, that’s all that matters. 

Right?

 

—

 

Xander watched Corrin and the Hoshidans walk away. He felt his lifeblood spilling from his wounds and knew that he didn’t have long.

 

He sits up, the wall behind him doing all the work of supporting his weight. Xander can’t look at Elise, but knows that he’ll end up seeing her soon. Her face is turned upwards, and Xander only despairs for where he went wrong. He was so full of rage, enough that his father pushed him further and further down the darker path. All he wanted… all he wanted was… Well, Xander’s not sure anymore. He did everything and anything for his father. That was his duty, to his family and to his country. But, what good was that duty? That fealty? If all it did was lead to death and destruction?

Xander despairs. Not for himself, he deserves every blow dealt. No, he despairs for Elise, a life cut short. He despairs for Peri, whose coloured locks shine even in death and amongst the blood. He despairs for Laslow, who tried so hard to steer him right, but whose advice he never heeded.

Laslow…

 

Xander, with the last bits of his energy, turns his head. His eyes meet soft brown ones, an open pair. Laslow has his hand outstretched towards him, blood staining his skin and pooling beneath him. It darkens even the ruby red of the carpet and stands too bright against his silver locks. 

Xander feels another tearing pain through him. He can’t look away. Laslow reaches to him as he had done when the life was ripped from him in violence and depravity. Laslow, whose smile carried him through the hardest times, who would always stay at his side and support him. Laslow, who would cry when he thought no one was around, who would dance when he thought no one could see him. Where will those dreams lead now?

 

As his lungs breath the last of their breaths, Xander swears to apologise to Laslow when they meet again. He’ll never make up for what he’s done, nor can he repay Laslow for the brief respite he’d provide in the darkness nights. Perhaps, even, he’ll forgive Xander for his foolish love and find a way to forgive him.

 

Xander doesn’t move. He’s always been toeing the line with death, seeing it every day and inflicting it every other. He lets his eyes fall closed. He can almost feel Elise at his side, Laslow and Peri both lingering nearby. He can almost feel Camilla and Leo too, who he’ll have to wait some time to see again. But, together again they’ll be. And maybe, once the world has moved beyond all this, they can be at peace.

 

—

 

Peri stabs her lance forward. Hot blood rushes over her skin and through her head. Cries and screams tear past her lips, any words of warning lost to her.

Laslow, she thinks, will later tell her she was wrong. But he’ll stay with her when she cries and only gently remind her to stay calm.

But she can’t be calm! She can’t, with the sight of his bloodied body trapped in her minds eye. She can’t, after seeing him cut down and killed, just like her parents were- Just like how he swore not to be!

  
She’s angry, uncontrollably so. She can’t stand it, all this pain and fear running through her, but she has to keep fighting. She has to eviscerate every one of them, for she doesn’t know which is the one that killed him! They can’t get away with it! They won’t! Not after all the promises they made, after every quiet conversation, just as Peri was starting to get better!

 

Peri gasps as pain shoots through her legs and her horse rears up beneath her. She cries out as the horse tumbles down, throwing her into a wall violently.

A Hoshidan solider watches Peri as she gets to her wobbly feet. She stumbles forward, lance grasped tightly in her hands. No matter the pain or punishment, Peri can’t stop fighting. 

 

And she doesn’t, not until a naginata tears through her chest and her heart. She writhes and fights even as the blood pours from her with the last of her energy. Peri spills tears as the lance falls from her hands. She’s sorry, so sorry but, now, maybe the pain will go away…

 

 

— 

 

Laslow clutches his side, blood seeping through his fingers at a worrying rate. He’s found a moment of respite for now, his right hand adjusting the grip on his blade. It was a reckless move, he knows, bringing in these soldiers and going against Xander’s orders, but Laslow will be damned if he lets his liege die without even trying to do something about it. 

But he can’t see him. Laslow desperately runs along the sides of the temporary walls, looking for  way inside. _Xander_ is in there, and he can’t stand being apart from hie liege any longer. 

 

Then, with a loud clattering, Laslow is forced to jump back as a large panel of the wall is thrown down. Laslow sees Hoshidan soldiers at its base, some only vaguely familiar, but beyond them, he sees a familiar head of blond hair. 

 

“Lord Xander!” A choked cry bursts from Laslow’s lungs. A fiery desperation runs through him. He’s right there! He’s alive! A twisted smile on his face, Laslow takes a single step forwards.

 

Something cold pierces through Laslow’s back. It emerges from his stomach, covering thickly in blood. Laslow doesn’t see who does it, only seeing the blade recede and hearing footsteps run away.

 

Heartbeat pounding in his ears, Laslow raises  a shaky had up to the wound. In mere seconds, his clothes are drenched in blood that starts to pool on the ground beneath him. Laslow is no stranger to war and, in that moment, he realises that the wound is a fatal one. 

 

At first, he doesn’t know what to do. Laslow looks up and sees Xander still. The sounds of metal ringing against metal is slowly disappearing under a rushing of blood and then Laslow can’t see him anymore. 

His body fills in the gaps, and Laslow’s legs give out from under him. Laslow lands heavily on the ground, taking in gulps of air as everything starts to shut down. 

Starting at his fingertips, Laslow feels himself start to go terrifyingly numb. It’s horrifying. One blade, one attack has sent him to his doom. How many blows has he himself launched, and how many lives has he taken? Perhaps this is his reckoning. 

 

Laslow raises his head. He can see Xander still fighting, his only hope. There are no healers around, no one to help him. But, Laslow still extends his hand.

 

Xander…

 

His liege, his best friend, his love and lover. Laslow feels tears well up in his eyes as his vision fades to black.

 

Sorry Mother. Sorry Father. Sorry Lucina.

Sorry Owain, Aunt Lissa, Uncle Lon’qu.

Sorry Uncle Basilio, Aunt Flavia.

Sorry Severa, Gerome, Cynthia, Laurent, Yarne, Nah, Brady, Kjelle, Marc, Morgan.

 

Laslow’s heart falls cold and still.

 

I'm sorry, Lord Xander. I couldn't keep our promise.

 

—

 

When they arrived back at the castle, it was already too late.

 

Selena went first, slamming open each door and stomping her way through the empty halls. Blood and bodies tarnish the once pristine decor, like a scene right out of hell- right out of home.

Odin kept behind her, eyes darting to each passing shadow, each empty doorway and fallen solider. He doesn’t see any Hoshidans amongst them, which only makes it more disturbing. What loss, this is, for no gain. 

 

Selena kicks a door open, the heavy wood sliding against the floorboards with a loud creak. Her stomach drops.

 

Bodies lie scattered over the floor, nothing too unfamiliar, if not for the familiarity. She recognises some of these faces, soldiers kept close by the king’s side, who patrolled and defended the castle and throne room. She remembers seeing those soldiers behind Prince Xander, behind Peri and Laslow. And now they lie dead. Defeated.

 

Panic rising in her heart, Selena starts forward again, eyes scanning over the tainted field. 

She sees Peri, eyes blown wide with a spear piercing through her chest. It’s a gruesome scene, especially with the torn-up bodies around her and her horse, the beast she would take so much time to care for, broken by the swing of an axe. Its blood and insides mix into the pooling sickness.

 

Selena moves on. 

 

Near the centre of the room, she sees Princess Elise, cut down with one decisive blow. At least it had been quick, not punishing and arduous. 

 

Beside the young girl, though, she sees Prince Xander. He’s splattered with blood, the blacks of his armour and of his blade almost overrun. He looks off to the side, eyes closed almost wistfully. Selena has not doubt that it was Corrin who dealt the final blow.

 

“Laslow!”

 

Odin’s voice cuts through the quiet. Selena holds back a biting reply. They can’t afford to be caught, not yet.

 

However undeterred, Odin rushes over to the grey-haired man. His heart sinks at the sight, blood everywhere, clothes, skin and flesh torn away. Tears start to rise up and fall, Odin can’t contain himself. He feels just like a child, weak and so very lost. And they had lost, it seems. Again.

Odin reaches down, holding Laslow has best as he can in his arms. He doesn’t care for the blood staining his clothes, he only wishes to hold his oldest and dearest friend close.

But they can’t wait, not yet. 

 

Selena walks over and helps Odin pick Laslow up. With one arm over each of their shoulders, it’s too reminiscent of times past. The trio make their way back out of the room in a numb silence and leave both the castle and Nohr behind.

—

**Author's Note:**

> :'(


End file.
